The Earth is Spinning on it's Side

That’s pretty much the only explanation I can think of.

I just don’t know what else could be wrong. I feel perfectly fine myself, but the world around me is just…all wrong.

Well, not all wrong. On the surface it seems perfectly normal. To everyone else it seems perfectly normal. (I can’t see how anyone could not realize that some shit must be going down…if they’re even real.)

There seriously feels like there’s a glitch in the Matrix. I just have no idea how to fix it. I’m not sure if it’s just that I’ve died and the world isn’t real, if it’s that everyone is in a whole other world all together, or if we’re in the same world and something is fucked up. Like a wrinkle in our reality. Nothing horribly dangerous or catastrophic, just extremely annoying.

Everything else feels normal. I feel as normal as I can. (as normal as I’ve ever felt, like when I was happy in 2009) Everything is as it was, just fine. But I can’t shake this awful, awful feeling.

My therapist tells me to write to get rid of the weird theories I have and to separate them from this reality. But it’s not the theories that are causing the feeling. The theories are me trying to think up an explanation for whatever is going on.

I also described it as shrinking. Everything has shrunk. The universe does not feel vast. I feel like I’m in a room. Like the sky is not real. No matter how far I go (I drive all around the state to work) the feeling remains. Small.

Something must be seriously chemically wrong with me. This isn’t something that I can talk through. It’s an ever present thing. I can be as happy as anything, totally normal, whatever, but it won’t. go. away.

Sigh. I’m getting sick of it. I just don’t know what to do. I’ll probably have to go on some stupid medication. I’m sure it won’t work, since no one has ever really heard of this weird little symptom of a disease that doesn’t exist.

I could almost imagine just stepping off of this world, of this reality. Literally stepping off and watching it fall and burn to pieces and then disintegrate into the nothing that it is. The only problem is is that I have no idea how to go about such a thing.

Oh well. This is driving me crazy. (literally) I should make a doctors appointment. Even if my theories are correct, just give me something to make me blissfully ignorant of the reality glitch.

Thanks for reading. Sorry if it was ramble-y.

Rianne