Today I feel...okay. Which bothers me. I suppose I'm frightened when I don't feel like killing myself or killing someone else {because of mania} and so that depresses me. So I suppose I'm depressed. Alright.

The other day Rose Red kept telling me to kill my family. It frightened me because she had been gone for about a week, but I got really mad and she came back all of a sudden. I had gotten in a fight with my family {my sick grandmother was attempting to do lifting and I insisted that she not, and the whole family except my mother, who was upstairs, jumped on my ass. Even my little six year old cousin. That really pissed me off} and went absolutely ape shit. I mean kicking, screaming, threatening crazy bitch. We were in the garage and the garage door was open and I went outside screaming, "Do you hear me, neighborhood? DO YOU HEAR ME? COME FIGHT ME!" That's what makes me I was experiencing mild mania. It was a total over-reaction {even though I was right in the situation and my mother reprimanded the rest of the family for telling me I was wrong when I was trying to do the right thing} and no one gets THAT mad at something like that.

Then afterwards, of course, Rose Red butts her ugly {okay, she's not actually ugly...she's really pretty.} head into my mind to fuck around with me. She's telling me they all deserve to be executed, burned, shot, axed, etc. She is not a nice girl. I told her to shut up and leave me along of course, and she eventually gave up. But fuck, those moments are scary. She puts up such a convincing argument. She's like a sociopath. Very soulless, but very charming and cunning. I just don't know what to do with her.

Fare-thee-well.