She’s making me feel really bad tonight. I named her Rose-Red.

Sometimes I have these nightmare nights were I’m just waiting for the sun to come up. I keep looking at the clock.

I can sort of visualize Wonderhell. It’s war-torn there. There’s a civil war going on, after all. There’s the Teddy Bear army {not exclusive to Teddy Bears, of course. We don’t discriminate.} which the Good in me/External Me commands. The war is intense and it is fought in the trenches. Then there’s the Emerald Tower, which houses Logical Me. Logical me watches and plans and calculates as usual, choosing not to take in something as barbaric as war. Then of course Rose-Red, the Red Queen of Wonderhell, she sits in her Red Tower, commanding her army. I can’t see her army but it’s powerful.

I feel very cold now. Actually physically cold. I have goosebumps and everything. I pretend I’m sleeping in a huddling in a cold, damp trench and I feel a little better.

Oh thank God. I glanced towards my blinds and saw the sky glowing dark blue through the slats. The morning is finally coming. The night is not going to last forever {it always seems that way, doesn’t it?}

My mother wants me to go to church. She’s not very religious at all. I believe she’s actually agnostic like I am. She just wants me doing something. I would like to do something, but not that. No, I’m far to angry. Besides, it would be disrespectful {ha.} to bring someone like Rose-Red into a place like that. She’d infect it with Wonderhell. Wonderhell comes out of her every orifice. It’s black and drippy and pulsing. The best was I can describe it is like an infection. It sort of crawls out of her.

I’m feeling a little better now. The medicine has kicked in, that’s probably why. I’m sleepy but I don’t want to sleep, I want to enjoy the temporary joy.